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Passionless...for how long?

Well, Hi! Wow, its really bad that I am updating my blog nearly four months later. In a very blue mood right now. Here I am watching American Idol season 11, and the show is amazing. The people are amazing, their talent is superb and their passion has no words. But at the same time I feel so terrible right now and I dont exactly know why. I feel talentless and passionless. There is so much to do in life, and everywhere around me people are doing so much. Some are modeling, singing, directing, acting, working, dancing, some are succeeding in academics, and doing so many other things. What am I doing? Studying, still studying, that too a subject I know I will not be pursuing. And then what!! I have no idea what I want to do. And for some reason the countless options available just makes me more tangled and confused as to what I want to do! I have jumped, jumped like crazy.
Anyway I have no idea how long this feeling is going to last. Maybe it's a feeling that will actually make me do something or maybe I'm just hormonal right now. No idea! As usual!
But one thing is for sure. I have decided that this year I will definitely do something. It can be anything, but I want to feel the sense of achievement very badly, it can be small or big, it can be insignificant to others, but I need this feeling just to feel sane. I dont know what it is, but I will WILL WILL find it this year!! Another reason for me to go crazy like this at 2 am is that I saw an amazing movie yesterday called Julie and Julia. The girl(Julie) in the movie basically is me. Passionless, confused and lacking purpose. And then she does this project on a blog where she aimed at cooking 524 french recipes by Julia Child in 365 days. It was so inspiring, and its based on a true story. She successfully finishes it, it's the one thing in her life that she proudly completed.
The movie is a must watch for all those looking for a tiny ray of inspiration. So getting back to my point, I too hope that this year I am able to do something "good" and understand what I want.


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