Skip to main content

Headaches and Meltdown.

Hi.

So I have a massive headache. As usual. You all must wonder why am I blogging about it. Well I want to avoid taking any meds and just distract myself. It is extremely hot, and my tea sucked. So yes, not a very nice day. For me any day that does not entail a good cup of tea, is a bad day. 

Today is one of those day where I am demotivated, exhausted and low. The pressure of work is getting to me. Sometimes I really work well under pressure, but some days I just cant move. Its 3.53 pm and I am yet to start working. The commissions are piled, and till 15th June, I don't have a single day that I can take an off. I doubt I can even afford to head out to a cafe for an hour. I used to always wish that God, give me so much work that I freak out (in a good way) and don't even have one minute free. Well I got what I wished for, just din't know it would feel like this.

 I need to rant today so please bear these complaints. 

I need a day where I can do "nothing". Have you guys ever done that?

It's extremely medicinal and therapeutic. You laze around, read, watch shows, or just sit. Eat whenever, sleep whenever, watch whatever, speak, don't speak, call, don't call, scream, play, run, dance or basically just sit and be alone with your thoughts. 

I really need that. But I cant. I love my art. I love my work. I love the fact that I found my calling and its all paying off. I love the fact that I never get bored with my work. But yes, I do require a break. Just like any normal human, in a normal job. 

It also does not really help that along with such a mood, feelings of self doubts start to enter your mind. 

Am I really good at my work?
Do I deserve this?
Am I a good artist?
How do I better myself each day?
Will I do a good job on all my commissions?

Lots of thoughts enter and play their own games in my head. I cant even watch any shows or do something else, because then I feel guilty. I have to give my 100 percent to this dream of mine, buck up and work. No matter what my mood is, no matter what I am feeling. I need to ignore the headaches, the exhaustion, and push through. 

Feeling a little ok. I think I should have some black tea then, if there's no milk. But I really really need a good cup of tea. If only I could have such an amazing spread right now. 

Peace.

PS- Sorry for the ranting, just needed to vent. :)


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Of Modi's and mints...

"Get cash" said my Beautician.

From where, the sky? I retorted angrily. 

Cash has become a huge problem right now. Modi's move is great but it has affected the common man's life very badly. Can you believe it, tomorrow I have an appointment with my beautician and for a meagre amount I have to shell out a cheque since I do not have any cash on me right now. 

I want to go to Pune to visit my Grand Mom and sadly I have no money to pay for the taxi. I doubt that particular fellow whom we contact takes any card payment. So basically we all are stuck. 

Moving on to other issues that I go through...

K has downloaded an app called "In shorts" or something like that in my phone. I am suppose to compulsorily read and study it. Why? K feels I have no idea what is happening in the world and I should know the basics. 

To be honest, he is right. I really don't have that much knowledge about the current happenings plus I truly do not care about "news", what is hap…

Because Mommy hates my eyebrows......

I hate this weather. It's all wet and weird. I am so surprised at myself for nearly finishing my commissions for September. Alongside I even managed to watch two movies. I had decided to watch them only on the completion of my work as a "treat", but well I just cannot say no to a movie night with K. Actually I cannot say no to anyone when it comes to watching a movie. So I ended up watching Freaky Ali which sucked. And Pink which did not suck at all. What a movie!

I called the "Mother" to discuss Pink and the seriousness it showcased about the way women are judged in the Indian society. After ranting for a couple of minutes about how we are perceived and shackled with responsibilities and judgements, she replies -
 "Have you done your eyebrows?"

Now my eyebrows are currently a crisis for my Mother. The fact that her daughter has disregarded the importance of physical maintenance is shocking for her. Since I have been piled this month with maddening w…

To the 2016 that was and a 2017 that will be...

Happy New Year Peeps! *sneezes hard*

I just returned from a fabulous seven day holiday and now I am feeling the, to quote my friend R - "Holiday withdrawal symptoms". 
So for me the symptoms are mild melancholy and a viral infection. 
The year 2016 has just gone by too fast. Like literally too fast. It was a year of love, family, travel, art along with loss, hurt and pain. It was a bittersweet year for me. During Gudi Padwa which is a Maharashtrian New Year, there is a famous tradition that we follow. We never did that, well since we have never been a traditional family. Father and Mother have been free birds always and their need for flying free has rubbed on to us. The tradition was to eat a mixture of neem leaves and jaggery. Of course I am sure it must have tasted disgusting but it had a symbolic reference to it. It meant that life would always be a mixture of bitterness and sweetness. We have to hope for the sweet but also accept and appreciate the bitter. We have to accep…