I love my home. It is my heaven. My safe place. My happy place. My sanctuary. My little world.
I miss it. I miss it every second. That's the issue with marriage you know. You just have to leave your home, your family and basically your whole life and suddenly go to another place. It is a whole new life. New people, new rules, new feelings and new expectations.
It is very difficult to be honest. The most difficult thing I have done.
I have always been a home person. While my friends were super excited for college, going out with friends, bunking and what not, I was always home with Mom and Toulouse. I used to curl up into a ball with a book and a nice hot cup of tea. Heaven.
Wish I could do it everyday for the rest of my life. You get so habituated to your life that you do not like any change that happens after marriage.
Thankfully since I knew K for over two years before I married him, I at least knew my to-be home a little. But knowing it and experiencing it are two very different things. It was so funny waking up in a new house, going to a new kitchen, start cooking, eat at the table with your new family and at the same time all you wish is to go back to your Mom and Dad.
Both my homes are so contrasting in nature. At my parents house it is all relaxed. At my new home I am busy. I am always busy. It's not like I am only cooking. But there are so many tiny things to do in the house that I am always on my toes. The sun rises, sets and I am doing something or the other. Managing home, plus work, plus so many relationships that the days just pass by. I feel that I just got married recently but it struck me sometime back that I have completed five months of marriage already.
One hundred and fifty days in a new home with a new family. Now they are not new to me. They feel familiar. They feel like my own. And each time I have K by my side, it starts feeling like heaven. But some days I still zone out. And I go back to thinking about my past, who I used to be and mostly my home.
Right now the full family is playing cards in the hotel room. I played but now I want some solitude. I want to be home curled up with a book and my Mum. But then you realise that heaven is something you have to create for yourself. If you want to be happy and have a wonderful life, you have to create your own garden of peace and love. No person, no amount of money, no house can give you that. If you are internally at peace, you will make a tiny heaven wherever you go. End of the day, your home is in yourself.
So that's what I am doing. I have come to my room, made myself tea and I shall write. In a while I will watch Big Bang Theory (favourite show) and draw my next ink illustration. That is my slice of heaven as of now. This is home for me at this minute, where I will enjoy my rare moments of solitude and if I get some time, I can curl up in a ball and read a book.
What is your heaven? What is home for you?
PS- On a completely unrelated note and heights of randomness, here is my "Hitler" themed doodle for H. I hate that guy, but still made a doodle on him. Just like that.