A honest revelation of a tangled me...
So yes, I am annoyed and irritated. My saving grace is planning various social activities so that I can get out of the house. This is the problem when you freelance from home. You miss going out to work. You tend to get complacent and work as per your convenience. Sometimes even when there is an assignment, you choose to relax and watch a show in the afternoon.
It sounds amazing to some people, but trust me it's not. I miss a work life routine. When you freelance from home, especially in a big family where there is a lot of work, there is no demarcation between being a working woman and a housewife.
So now it's time to sort out that aspect of life. Which I soon will.
Moving on from moping about maids and moods, I am glad to say that I am taking out time to read a lot. Reading takes a total backseat when you are busy with work and home. I ordered a few books a month ago and made sure I finished them. Which I did! Plus I ordered four more books right now and can't wait to read it! Reading keeps me sane. So along with some blogging, doodling, meeting friends, being with K, talking to family and sprinkle some reading on top, I am managing to get through each day.
You need so many things to be okay these days. A human is never satisfied. We have too many wants and needs. Life is never perfect and we strive everyday to make it perfect. And with all this, I somehow manage to create perfect moments for myself.
With all honesty I am blogging today to tell that my life is not perfect. And I have moments of sadness. I have everything, yet I feel I have nothing. I want a pet more than anything in the world and that thought consumes me. But I am trying each day and working hard to make sure I have a good day. It is very easy to sink into sadness. I nearly deleted my blog actually.
I thought I should go off social media completely. Maybe technology depressed me. You are virtually in touch but the personal touch goes away from life.
Maybe that is true. These days we all are showcasing our life on social platforms. We show when we are happy, some pretend to be happy and some truly show when they are sad. But we always want to show. To be very honest, I do that too. And in such moments, you try so hard to capture your happiness and then you end up losing the moment.
So in the last few days I consciously avoided social media. My lunches and dates with family, friends and K, I thoroughly enjoyed without "checking in" on Facebook, or capturing my perfect plate of food to go on Instagram. I just took few photos for my memory and that's it. I did not check my phone and I did not feel the need to. I gave my 100% to that moment where I was enjoying a wonderful time and having great conversations.
And that was good. Truly good. I will never eliminate social media from my life. What ever I am today in terms of Ink Tales is because of social media. The opportunities that have come to me for my work is thanks to the wide reach social media gives you. It is a blessing. But I guess to be consumed by it is not right.
I read this really nice post written by a travel blogger. She said the Ecuador swing became extremely famous due to the internet. People flock to go there and swing on the "edge of the world". It is a thrill. I would love to do that too. But when she went there, she saw people stocking up and rushing just to sit there. You barely get two minutes to enjoy that moment, there is no peace since ten to twenty people are waiting for you to get off. And in those two minutes also, people cant wait to capture a perfect picture for their Instagram.
She said that people actually would just get on it for few seconds, take pictures and get off.
It's okay to capture it. But I just wish everything wasn't too commercial these days. I wish we could all just start enjoying the moment.
Anyway, now I am consciously trying to be in the moment. I am always in the past or the future. Thus I lose out on the present.
So try to enjoy as much as you can. The little moments of life are what makes life perfect. Not the big things. Travel, love, work, play, pray and repeat.
We all are facing our own battles and demons. Be kind.
If you are not okay, get help. Trust me it helps. Trust me you get better. Today's time, mental health is extremely important. We are all getting weaker. And to fight back sometimes you have to reach out. So please do. I did.
That's all for now.
My door is always open to help if anyone wants to reach.
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